No you walked

 Interviewer: A cis
respondents: shadows on the
interview by: e-mail
He is my neighbor, he told my mom a plant. He lived, I often come to my house for a light and get rice or something. had never been seen a lot of people think I'm a heterogeneous, with people traveling do not love, it aloof, he also said I was all eyes heavenward to see. He said always remember I was a child solo appearance on stage. Later, factory relocation, my parents first moved out, left me living at home, he saw my cookies always trash bags, I felt my poor parents did not eat away from home (in fact I lost Scallion the smell of biscuits), would sometimes ask me to dinner. because he had eaten dinner at my house, I did not think much to eat his food not. he would do pasta, his family is from the north, a boy will be steamed bread, and he was very great in my eyes.
He was not the second door is not the door step, especially honest, life has special rules, and I am eloquent, as is the youngest in the family, relied on family and friends I have used to temper the worst of men are not all like to protect the weak, but as he hurt me my pet, we like on. He takes good care of me, old habits are packages, and my mouth Diao, he purposely bought a cookbook, Bianzhuohuayang do pasta for me. to determine a relationship of two in March, I was transferred to the new plant, two more than 60 km away. I go to work every day to save the whole breaks up, good to see him back to the old plant. in love be separated between the two virtually hides many wrong, I got left you Lennon Lennon, and wanted the factory with a .96 in just the last batch of raising funds to build housing, we receive a homeopathic license, when he 24 I 21.
have not got a house, we should talk to live with his parents and 50 level two generations, a lot of contradictions out, finally in sight of the more unpleasant to go, now divorced, do not say that things. He, I, the elderly, there are wrong. I admit that I sometimes face more difficult to come up to see his temper, but I should not disrespect the elderly. he would not have caught in the middle as sometimes things will go bad the direction of push. Now that I think, and I forgive him, then we are not mature, I do not know how to deal with complex family relationships.
I always do not want children, because I think he is immature, I told him the lack of trust, His life experiences have a deficiency, especially his mother pet him, he is like a mother hen chicks under the wings, had never left home. We plant a lot of peers are basically the state, from kindergarten to high school technical school, are factory, and then into the factory to work I had .98 at the end of the second flow, causing mastitis, pain I cry, he would rather watch TV, a station for a station, not with me. Then he said I see his face, I actually like a baby, but the object made a mistake. coquetry with the puzzled man style, purely for himself Tian Du. He puzzled and customs, my heart that cold ah, gas, ah, hot-tempered in respect of tear that he had written all my letters, also woven sweater I gave him to buy clothes, all cut. and then moved to sleep on the floor. Now that I think I have enough hypocritical, but then I was really sad, I feel he was selfish, I do not care for the sick feeling.
early the next day the big three, early in the morning he was gone, I'm sad, breast pain, to distract me to walk along the main road has to go, really Forget it wants to go dead. then walk, before riding back. home knows, he sent for my mother to go to my mother, I protect my mother is not good too. Speaking of his son's teeth marks on his back, her mother wait for them to come back to bite look like that. rift between us is now starting.
99 year, I do not care and pregnant, the doctor said surgery can not, I was only 70 kilograms, as thin as a piece of paper. turnkey new house when it is winter, I do not know she was pregnant, they are busy financial year, I braved the snow to set furniture, furniture factory and decoration are all about I get one, buy materials, to find workers, and cement, foam tile, supervision, mop-up get health hh Now think about it, I was too conceited, and only then he spoiled. then trouble was uncomfortable with him, I went to the empty one new house, sitting on the floor on, basking in the sun in a daze, as one looking forward to move to.
they have a small home, with pregnancy, the two words can have, and that is the most harmonious time. all the domestic base is heavily pregnant I do. child born in the end, he put dry in the gateway, the month of sitting in my mother house, he spare a net to sleep, crying all night, shouting does not move, I am up and change a diaper. the baby is born I was the one band finished off half a year of maternity leave, work half a day is a rest day and a half, to work children to grandparents, the whole rest of the time I brought my own. He never whether children. Then he fell in love with stocks and computer games We do not start a table and eat, eat and drink all of his computer, at less than 2,3 points will not sleep. Over time, many problems can not tell why, I was a long silence, angry and cold face became my way of expression.
2001 年 daughter 2 years old, he started late, out of mixed bars. I'm waiting every night, some come back every time he and I both know. I squatted on the windowsill crying, 趴在窗台上 smoking, watching the night in a daze, until he appeared at downstairs, I pretended to go to bed early the bed. quarrel when I asked him, why not call and say where you are going back to . He said he did remember my phone number. I said that you can play at home ah. He said he phone battery died. I was speechless. I did not hit his phone, the man is to face, and, I believe that a thirty years old and under on a small man, should have a sense of responsibility, should know that someone was waiting for him to go home. I'm not his mother, I have to work with children to be stewards, how can I control him? old saying rang do not hammer the drum, which knew it was a bad drum.
we live under the same roof as the two strangers, I took my daughter to live, he often comes home late or simply not come back is covered with wine gas. He was not unable to connect the phone often, is no answer, and sometimes off, I simply no longer played. flashed her daughter was 4 years old, during which we uttered a bitter divorce, he initially refused, later agreed to away, but not to my daughter. not from into.
04 Chinese New Year of the Year, he drank back trouble, yell at me and said: This home is not your thing. to Beijing. separation is not busy and he told me indifferent, but my poor daughter. Six months later I came back, opened a toy store, he invested. He repeated assurances that the money earned from the stock market. This is The first time I told him for money, we have been separated from the economy, I asked him, but the income and expenditure, and my own money and domestic use. my daily morning to evening in the shop, Chinese Lunar New Year is not wrong, my mom I take care of his daughter, he almost did not come to the store to help, sometimes years, also covered with the alcohol, affect my work on May 05 close the office in August 2005, by his favor, I went to a company.
We live and do not care, do not speak no face to face the day. I can not remember his face was what it was like, and sometimes he suddenly appeared at home, I will stand in amazement, but back to God. The worst was in 2006 end of the summer, for the sofa at home, we teach with the furniture market, wandered half, he put my daughter and I lost in the streets, their cars get left unidentified. The next day I said to not be the entertainment? still need you to come forward to solve the matter? mixed, since you so love to play, I give you freedom, divorce, how you want to play can be. or back late last drink back to downtown, there are times when I want to play 110.
we be a true survival of the husband and wife, To Each. during a woman have beautifully, but I always refused to believe him .06 derailed in September, he was drinking one night back, I Pachao to daughter, wanted his mother to her baby son to see what is virtue, and brought him to his mother downstairs. I do not know my voice is not large stimulated him, in my unguarded, he picked up his arm hit me, I fell to the ground, hanging arm injury. I'll never forget when he was the terrible red eyes, I shouted for help, his mother in the Upstairs shouted his name, also failed to stop him. I managed to get out, barefoot running like mad in the night. ran downstairs to my mother, tears are not cry out. My dad was very angry and pulled me look for him. My dad gave him a slap in the face, saying, not to apologize, but also play the fool that do not remember.
domestic violence is more unforgivable than the derailment, when we are away from November. I had been hesitant, feeling that he just get rid of alcohol abuse, not without merits. daughter always tears and said, like the other children want to have Mom and Dad. At first, do not leave home for divorce, wanted to give her daughter time to get used to. Although he did not mean the father has, although my daughter and I have become accustomed to their own life, but he did not come back and leave him completely, or different. But one day, he drank making fools of themselves, bad influence, the daughter of the teacher knows, and I worry about what her daughter heard. He came back, I reminded He indecent act, he said, suddenly sober. One person alone can not put her daughter to remain in this difficult world, he does not deserve to stay in our lives, and I must take him out of our lives. just a few days I let him pack up and get out, and he knew her daughter was The bottom line of my patience, not daring to mess with me.
divorce less than a month I was unemployed. That I was three years old, and this year I know what Jiaoren situation such as paper thin, what is inconstancy of human relationships. Also, I heard a woman he was with the pair of very affectionate, but also to go hand in hand with the markets. For a moment I really like being knocked to the ground. Think of the decade so I did not, I who for years insomnia and wait, and I how the efforts of those trying to recover waste, hate, was crushed by gargling my stomach. marriage and did not work overnight, I'm empty-handed. After the transfer to the daughter of the house agreement, no one out of it. I did not want to the cash, purification from households. During that time I did not see people, loss of appetite, not to speak. or could not sleep all night, black or white, regardless of sleepiness. ideological struggle every day, students or die? that be deceived, betrayed the sad, and fear can not settle down, have a huge black hole as my joy of life. Then I started taking medicine for depression treatment, the medicine treatment for depression but also caused by bulimia, I had very anorexia, and taking that time almost no food. to withdrawal, by writing, and to rely on friends to support, by the daughter to my love, and finally hold back slowly.
next year , that is, the Year 07, I stopped drinking drunk, fell off the chair from the bar and fall unconscious. The next day woke up and found himself injured, has a blood hole in his chin, and now it still scars . my friend said, was sent back to me from the bar, I sat in bitter tears on his feet, crying from 0:00 to 2:00, such as no money to flee their homes can not go home miserable. I heard a laugh at myself for shame ah, smiled and laughed to cry again. crying over this a, like all the pain and give vent to their grievances are, getting emotional stability, and weather spring. I said to myself, hate, to hate to forget.
new job, the normal life together gradually. At one point, because her daughter is not satisfied with the new aunt, I do not how politely sent him a text message. middle of the night received a reply, it is wicked , I did not believe their eyes. At this point I really wake up, for a people who do not love you, your silence is the most proud of. After that, my life more normal up, I became a optimistic woman, recovered a sharp tongue and wrote a lot of things made in the forum, a large circle of friends together.
two years after the divorce, I also experienced several relationships that is another story. but the day would not Give me a quiet day, his friend suddenly told me that he disappeared for unknown reasons. I contacted him many times, he finally wrote back, also told me through the words. had he misappropriated a sum of money, the working group to audit, not identify the problems he ran. I advised him to return, I have accumulated this year's work some connections, thinking about how he can help. two days later he came back and was factory control, I was allowed to see his side. He was very emaciated, told me about after the incident when we did not divorce. He said he was sorry and I divorced, but also regret to do it. I said if you could tell me that I was I will not let you into trouble. I have said so for years does not say: Where were you all these years, you know every day I wait for you to go home, I waited for you for five years ah. He said, into the car, I'm sorry. I'm behind him said that his temper should not be too hard on the inside, so suffer. once I get off, closed the rear door of the instant, our eyes are as complex. it was raining, I stood on the street, carrying his luggage can not be taken away, tears. both good and bad moment all wiped out, and I never thought I would forgive him this way. home dug out the wedding, looking at He was young and handsome face, I wept, good one, how to ruin it this way. I realized that, in fact, we did not give each other happiness, good wishes we have accompanied all the way, but the last to hurt each other, so that broken into two half-life.
I am concerned about the use of the relationship between use cases can progress. was something completely beyond my expectations, began to gossip around, saying that he and I are fake divorce, and said how much money I had much money, cried his mother around, that I ran out of her son's money. The woman also attempted to convince me to sell the house ill-gotten gains. his friends not to be see how woman, nothing to discuss with me, every day, phone, say you To control him, ah, you no matter who cares ah. I just ex-wife to see her daughter's sake I am doing everything humanly possible, and also how I like ah.
Over time, this gradually subsided. one day I blurted out that his name, his daughter surprised a moment, staring at me asked, I feel bad daughter for a time, the mood is also complex, and we cried together Niangliang holding. I have never cried for him when her daughter face. At that time I was pretty hate, hate him for no reason we suffered so much pain. crying over his daughter a look of calm, and I get a paper towel to wipe her own tears, as if nothing had happened to continue to watch TV, since there had been no mention of this scene. My daughter is really a tough kid.
down in May this year, the first trial, sentenced to 19 years. He also bad luck, the woman found him a lawyer, business is not good, the industry's reputation is not how good, still a week before the verdict down a car accident dead, really Oolong . Now the appeal, the second instance dismissed the verdict, not the last sentence, I do not know what the outcome. I bring her to the detention center saw him once, we Sa emotional than I expected to be normal. He said, My mother. daughter to take care of each other, grow together. to calmly finish these, I am very satisfied. Yes, he and I walked, one inattentive to get separated, had known today, have done it, at the moment, I I think of that handsome steamed bread earners, the heart is still warm.
PS: a smooth Half the Sky Passion and sin, is going through the grievances and conflicts, hh the more heavy the more alternative, the more welcome. text along the Syrian-based form of the line drawing, not a large section of poems and comments, informative, real feelings, not less than 7000 words. a Soon after finishing in the modified form of this publication, intended to provide the story